The 5 Worst Movie Dads

We’ve kicked Father’s Day off early here at Quickflix.

This week we’ve featured the best and worst Dad’s in movies and television. Today’s final entry looks at the very, very worst fathers in movie history.

5. Clark Griswold – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Fatherly Advice: “Find a bush Audrey!”

The Griswold’s doomed vacation to Wallyworld is about as tragic as the Titanic‘s maiden voyage. At least there were more fun things to do aboard the Titanic. While Clark might mean well, he subjects his family to some of the most interminable activites known to man. Thankfully, his wish to see the world’s largest ball of yarn is overruled by his wife. Much to his kids chagrin, Clark embarrasses himself and his children time and time again. And then he takes a security guard hostage! Daa–addd!

4. Daniel Plainview – There Will Be Blood

Fatherly Advice: “If you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw and my straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!”

Daniel Plainview doesn’t seem that bad to begin with. After all, he took in the son of a deceased oil man without much more than a second thought. However, there’s no accounting for his ‘descent into madness’, the single greatest plot device in movie history. Daniel uses his son H.W. as nothing more than a sympathetic face as he stretches his oil empire across America. And then in the final moments… oh, I can’t spoil it, even though I’m dying to. Let’s just say, I think Daniel is getting a Father’s Day card from H.W

3. Jack Torrence – The Shining

Fatherly Advice: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

Jack Torrence chases his son around the empty Overlook Hotel with an axe, seemingly crazy from the season-long isolation. So that’s pretty much reason enough to be considered a bad father. To be honest though – even at his least-crazy, Jack doesn’t seem to like his step-son Danny very much. In fact, he’s kind of hostile towards the kid. No wonder Danny thinks there’s a ghost living in his finger.

2. Dr Evil – Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Fatherly Advice: “The boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He’s quite wily, like his old man.”

Some fathers are disappointed in the way their kids have turned out. Scott Evil didn’t want to follow in his dad’s footsteps. He wanted to be a vet. “An evil vet?” Dr. Evil asks pleadingly. Dr. Evil’s fatherhood shows signs of improvement when he agrees to go to group therapy with his son. Of course, he later has everyone in the group ‘liquidated’, but that first step is always the hardest.

1. Anakin Skywalker – Star Wars Episode 1-6

Fatherly Advice: “There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you.”

SPOILER ALERT FOR A 30 YEAR OLD MOVIE. The ultimate bad-dad, there is really none worse than Anakin Skywalker. First of all, he abandons his pregnant wife (which causes her to die, of course). Then, he doesn’t even try to reach his kids Luke and Leia, even to see if they need some money, or want to go catch a film sometime. THEN, he totally blows up Alderaan. HE BLOWS UP A PLANET PEOPLE. What else; he kidnaps Leia; he cuts off Luke’s hand. I can keep going here. He kills Obi-Wan Kenobi. And what about all the bad stuff he did BEFORE HE WAS A FATHER! He murders all those younglings, he assists Senator Palpatine in the outlawing of the Jedi…

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s!

Check out our Father’s Day Faves Collection, and treat your dad to his favourite movies and shows!