BOO! Halloween Horror Classics

I love horror films. I love ’em. I love feeling sick with terror. I love seeing unrestrained gore and violence. Seeing as it’s Halloween, there is no better time to celebrate the all-time greatest gut-wrenching horror classics. Read on. Unless you’re chicken, that is.

Originally panned by critics, The Thing has grown into a cult classic. A group of researchers in the Antarctic are killed and impersonated by an unfrozen alien. Spooky. It plays out more like a thriller than a horror, but it’s still one of the scariest films ever made. And that final scene! Oh man. Stop reading this article and add it to your queue right now. No wait! Finish the article first, there is some good stuff in here.

Although it’s not exactly a traditional horror film, Mulholland Drive is the closest a movie has ever come to recreating a fevered nightmare. The first time I saw it was on a plane. I had to turn it off halfway through because I kept freaking out and knocking the chair in front of me. When I finally got around to watching it in full, I couldn’t sleep for a solid three weeks. Embarrassingly, it was early this year.

Facehuggers creep me out. Big time. I find the idea of anything grabbing onto my face to be pretty freaky. Jellyfish; large birds; a stranger’s hand. But see, Facehuggers grab onto your face, and then impregnate your mouth! And they don’t even buy you dinner first. Zing! Seriously though, this movie messed me up when I was a kid.

Dario Argento‘s blood-drenched one-two punch of classic giallo cinema. Suspiria tells the story of a mysterious ballet school tormented by demon murders. Deep Red follows a jazz musician who attempts to unravel the identity of a serial killer. Argento knows how to torment his viewers; framing every scene with the possibility of danger coming from any angle. They also have the two best synth soundtracks ever. Except for maybe…

There is no more fitting film than these to share the name of the scariest day of the year. The original and still the best, Halloween opens with an extremely disturbing POV murder by young Michael Myers, and then slow-burns its way to a brilliant finale. And if you’re still not satisfied after that, the sequel picks up RIGHT AFTER THE FIRST ONE! Halloween 2 has its fair share of critics, but I still love it, if only for the fact it has the greatest death scene in cinema history:

Is there anything left to say about The Silence of the Lambs? Everyone knows the quotes; everyone knows the characters; everyone knows Buffallo Bill’s tucked-in-penis dance. What always boggles my mind is that no one ever mentions the scene where Hannibal wears some dude’s face like a mask. HE WEARS IT LIKE A MASK!

The only movie to scare me by simply reading the blurb on the back of the DVD. I have had it sitting on top of my cabinet since December. I think it’ll still be a while before I work up the guts to watch it.

The most recent movie on the list, and definitely deserving of the placement. On an annual adventure holiday, a group of ladies get trapped in a deep cave. Obviously, it turns out they’re not alone. Has the distinct honour of having the creepiest ending of all the films on the list. It was so creepy in fact, American audiences had to have a less bleak finale. Scaredy cats.

It took me three sittings to watch this film. The first time I turned it off was after Danny comes across the murdered twin girls. The second time I turned it off was when Jack kissed the corpse in the bedroom. The third time I turned it off was because it had finished. By then, I was curled into a ball, hiding behind a chair. Good movie though.

Although it doesn’t really hold up in the scare department, there is an undeniable sense of dread regarding the whole situation. Seven people holed up in a small house as the zombie hordes gather outside. Yikes. Plus it also offers a fun game: try and guess how many die at the hands of zombies, and how many are killed from ironic accidents. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

And finally, just because we can:

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Let us know what your favourite horror flicks are in the comments section below.

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