The 10 creepiest and downright worst movie couples!

Alright, so cinematic romances don’t always work. Sometimes it’s the chemistry, sometimes it’s tragedy, and sometimes, it’s just the creepiness of the romantic situation (ie. dating your own mother; dating a baby; dating the Fuhrer).

I’ve delved into some horribly disturbing depths to find the 10 creepiest and downright worst movie couples in history. First a disclaimer: at least half of these movies are really great, and the rest are pretty good (with the exception of the awful movies taking up 3rd and 1st place).

Please don’t judge me.

10. Lars and Bianca (Lars and the Real Girl)

Alright, so Ryan Gosling is a cutie pie in the film and everyone knows it. And no, he doesn’t actually “romance” the eponymous Real Girl Doll Bianca. He loves her. But there is something very unsettling about this mentally ill man and his wheelchair bound girlfriend with a forever opened mouth. I love this movie, but still – weird.

9. Joe and Norma (Sunset Boulevard)

Reaching a 9.6 on the shudder o’meter, this creepy romance of convenience is truly, truly disturbing. A failed writer becomes a live-in rent boy for his elderly, former screen star ‘girlfriend’. This Billy Wilder classic was made back in the day when sexuality had to be inferred subtly, but the audience knows it – freaky stuff is going down.

8. Bill and Alice (Eyes Wide Shut)

In 1999, this sounded like a great idea. Arguably Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise are better looking now than they were back then. But you cast Nic and Tom in an erotic thriller these days, not even the reanimated corpse of Kubrick himself could make it seem watchable.

7. Oh Dae-Su and Mi-Do (Oldboy)

What could possibly be creepy about these two you’re thinking? Anyone who’s seen Oldboy already knows, and is quivering uncontrollably at the horrible thoughts being conjured up in their head. But to those of you unfamiliar with the Oldboy saga, you’re not going to have the secret ruined here. Just rent the film. Yep, nothing creepy going on here.

6. Benjamin and Daisy (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

OK, let me just get this off my chest. Yes, TCCOBB is a very well made film, and the story of Benjamin and Daisy is tragically romantic. BUT (and it is a big but), by the end of the film, Old Daisy is walking around with Baby Benji! Before everyone goes crazy, I know that they’re soul mates, and these are unusual circumstances. But seriously: Old lady dates baby. Just think about that for a sec.

5. Marty and Lorraine (Back to the Future)

Imagine if you were accidentally sent back in time, and almost negated your own existence by keeping your teenage parents from falling in love. Heavy, right? Well, now imagine if the reason for this intervention was the fact that your parent had instead fallen in love with YOU! The situation is made infinitely more difficult for Marty McFly, because his mother Lorraine is a total honey. And yes, I do feel wrong for saying that.

4. Anakin and Padme (Star Wars Episode 2)

“Dear George Lucas. Just wanted to send a quick thank you for turning Darth Vader, the most incredibly hardcore villain in the galaxy, into a whiny teenager with a penchant for sub-12th grade lit poetry. Also, it takes a special kind of director to make Natalie Portman act badly. Also, thank you for establishing that Anakin Skywalker might be an immaculate conception. That was a good idea. PS – I’m being sarcastic. Regards, Simon.”

3. Frank and Alice (Revolutionary Road)

Frank and April Wheeler deserve to be together. They are two of the most awful, uninteresting, mean, spiteful, hate-filled and just plain boring humans on the planet. 10 minutes into this film, you want them to divorce and get on with their lives. 50 minutes in, you want them to just shut up. Two hours in, you are praying for them to kill one another, because seeing their blood spill is the only possibly satisfying ending.

2. Adolf and Eva (Downfall)

Not just one of the creepiest movie couples, but possibly one of the creepiest couples in all of history (although in Eva’s defence, any coupling with Adolf would have earnt that distinction). In Downfall, the Fuhrer’s descent into madness (I mean, even deeper madness) is complete, and Ms Braun has a pasted on smile, barely hiding what, at this point, must be a mind dripping in crazy. And while they are two of the most despicable humans in the history of mankind … they are not given the Creepy Couple Crown. That belongs to …

1. Edward and Bella (Twilight)

Look up ‘Creepy Romance’ in the dictionary, and there is a picture of slack jawed Bella being held by diamond skinned Edward, who is glaring lustfully at her neck. Ah yes, this is truly the Romeo and Juliet of our times. That is if Romeo was a several hundred year old vampire with a thing for teens, and the traits of a physically violent and emotionally destructive husband, and Juliet was a submissive, personality free automaton who is grateful there is a guy out there who even wants to talk to her, even if much of the conversations revolve around his desire to kill her. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Over to you folks! What are the worst movie couples?

24 Responses to “The 10 creepiest and downright worst movie couples!”

  1. how about Keira Knightley & Orlando Bloom in "Pirates of the Caribbean"? They would be the antonym of "chemistry".

  2. Can’t believe you missed Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones in ENTAPMENT! A creepy coupling in a movie that would have worked fine as a pseudo father-daughter relationship.Sam Neill and Hugo Weaving in LITTLE FISH would be right up there as well…

  3. What about Nic Cage adn Jessica Biel in Next. Creepy!!! “No, Uncle Bully, Don’t!”

  4. I think I’d add:Dorothy Vallens and Frank Booth from Blue Velvet.Mr Grey and Lee Holloway from Secretary.With special mention to Dr Nick and Helena from Boxing Helena. If you love someone set them free. If they come back, they’re yours. If they don’t, amputate their arms and limbs.

  5. Chances Are — father dies, comes back to earth reincarnated as Robert Downey Jnr, and romances his daughter. It’s all kinds of wrong, yet everyone in the film appears to be fine about it…

  6. SHOPGIRL. Where the girl in the depressing counter job is seduced with gifts such as a pair of gloves, by the rich older guy (father/daughter age gap creepiness) and there’s that whole sugar daddy stuff going on but they aren’t having fun but they go ahead with it anyway. so empty, so creepy. gloves.

  7. You forgot Victor Frankenstein and his cousin Elizabeth, whom he grew up with like brother and sister after her mother died.Remember the part when Kenneth slides his hand down the front of her corset??So you can see it now – cousin/sister-figure marries scientific genius that created life from dead flesh. I hear an X-Files movie in that.

  8. Riff Raff and Magenta out of Rocky Horror Show, brother and sister? Who can tell? And Memoirs of a Geisha…not touching that one with a stick!

  9. maybe if you read the twiligh book you would understand bella and edwards relationship there is more to the movie that is explained in the book l do not agree with what was writin against them they were for lack of a better word awsome! and maybe not have done the books fully justice but it was still great bloody movie!lm sick of people bashing the movie out of the simple fact its a vampire romance so what!!! he dosent kill her dose he? he actually loves her which is more to say then 99.9% of real reltaionships and other parts of movies!

  10. Harold and Maude anyone??

  11. Nothing will EVER beat Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis in KALIFORNIAand i must admit that PHIL WILLIS mentioned my number 2, Julian Sands and Sherryln Fenn in BOXING HELENA.

  12. sxc_gth:It’s based on movie couples so they aren’t taking the books into account. Everyone knows what’s on paper doesn’t mean it’ll make the screen.If they translated everything from paper to screen then all of the Stephen King adaptations would make for interesting viewing and Queen of the Damned wouldn’t have sucked so much.I don’t mind vampyric lovers, but I’m over the teenage sappy stuff. Give me something more adult and tangible rather than boy meets girl.

  13. Gomez And Mortisha from the adams family win hands (thing) down

  14. Fin! I promise I didn't copy you… I read the great couples list before the creepy couples list and I always thought Harold & Maude were kinda sweet together.

  15. Oh, this whole list & comments has made me cry laughing. There really are some shocker couples out there, even if some of the movies were good. I always thought Harold & Maude never did it, but maybe that was because I was young & innocent when I saw it. Now that's creeping me out…Thankyou for no1, though I notice it has attracted some fan angst. The obsession isn't surprising for a film about a violent stalker & his co-dependant "partner"

  16. i’m incredibly sorry to do this to all you twilight fans, but somebody needs to…http://shinga.livejournal.com/478415.html

  17. Twilight was just creepy… would you really fall in love with a guy who breaks into your room to watch you sleep?

  18. To the anon that posted the link for Twilight fans – I sponsored a bunny on behalf of the plot in your honour. That was priceless thank you!!!!

  19. nobody even wants to remember halle berry and billy bob thornton in monster’s ball…. how outrageously creepy and gross is that.

  20. Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger in Jerry Maguire. Was that ever awkward? I never understood how this was supposed to be a ‘romantic’ comedy. It didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! It was a much dorkier affair; a forced, desperate, clumsy, unnatural, unfunny and unromantic coming together of ‘male loser’ and ‘female loser’. Excruciatingly painful to watch.

  21. I agree with fin…….. Harold and Maude. (love the movie)

  22. >Damn straight! People who think Twilight is romantic are going to get a serious wake up call. It's the most disturbing case of 'love' I've ever heard. The books and movies are equally bad. At least with the movies I don't have to deal with Smeyer's INCREDIBLY bad writing.

  23. i couldnt agree more with revolutionary road i havent even seen the full film yet and i can tell it is simply dreadful,probably the most wretched thing that leonardo and kate have ever done, so fuckin depressing, its funny how that film hardly got any of the hype and excitement that titanic got! rofl and it is very forgettable too as oppose to titanic which is quite memorable. i mean does anyone really care about leo anymore? his romeo and jack dawson days may be over but it still lives on and on……
    i actually thought marty and his mum made a cute couple i know its gross to say but back to the future is one of my all time fav movies and yes hayden christenson is a terrible, hopeless actor but i liked him with natalie portman in star wars

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