Wolverine’s got a milk moustache

source: bodybymilk.com

Hugh Jackman appears in the latest Got Milk campaign as Wolverine, promoting the regenerative, bone strengthening power of milk.

Just one problem – Wolverine’s entire skeleton is fused to hardened adamantium! Why the hell would he need to drink milk? Apart from the deliciousness of course. Also, milk moustaches on facial hair are a bit creepy.

Further research unveils that Wolvie is not the first superhero to wear the ‘tache. We examine each hero’s need for precious calcium:

Need for milk: High. Bruce Wayne has no superpowers and often jumps off the side of buildings. Strengthening of bones necessary.

Need for milk: Low. Not only does the Hulk NOT require milk, his ability to rationally decide healthy drinking options is virtually nonexistent. This advertisement seems to be based around Eric Bana‘s Hulk from 2003. This guy doesn’t need milk; he needs a box of tissues and a therapist.

Need for milk: Extremely low. Research into the effects of calcium on inhabitants of Krypton is unknown, although someone with unlimited power probably doesn’t fear Osteoporosis.

Need for milk: High. Although Hayden Panettiere portrays a superhero on television, she is actually just a regular human girl.

Conclusion: Milk is delicious and good for you, although highly unnecessary amongst superhero’s with unfathomable strength. Also, Hayden Panettiere is a very attractive human girl.

2 Responses to “Wolverine’s got a milk moustache”

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