Head to Head – GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra

Welcome to the latest edition of Head to Head, in which our Quickflix critic takes on our readers in a rip-snorting battle to the death! You pick the film, and we pick the fight!

Align CenterThis week, GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra received a kung-fu grip from Erica Toth. For her troubles, she received a free pass to one of our favourite films of the year, (500) Days of Summer. If you would also like to win free movie tickets, send your controversial mini-reviews to us here!

Erica Toth will argue AGAINST the film, while Quickflix critic Simon Miraudo will argue FOR it. Let us know in the comments section below who you agree with. Spare no vitriol! Choose your side! There can only be one winner!

Erica Toth – 1/5

I can sum up what I think of this movie in one line: how did this movie get made???????? The thing about this film is that it can’t pass as a children’s movie; it isn’t nearly fun or interesting enough (and slightly too violent), and it’s far too lacking (in quality of script, quality of acting, logic, absolutely anything interesting) to pass as an adult’s film. It can’t seem to decide what it wants to be so you get emotional flashback scenes followed by a doctor with a faux-mangled face and an even more mangled voice. You could forgive GI Joe’s ludicrous nature if it was fun but it just isn’t (note: this excludes a couple of martial arts heavy fight sequences…which were pretty good). All I really ask of a film is that I don’t leave the cinema any dumber than when I entered. When I left GI Joe, I felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to my brain. Not cool.

Simon Miraudo – 2/5

Readers, I hope you are sitting down. Because I must immediately forfeit and submit victory to Erica Toth. I cannot (repeat: cannot) bring myself to defend GI Joe. The filmmaking is lamentable. The special effects are atrocious. The script, nonexistent. And the cast? As I mentioned in my review: “Lead star Channing Tatum has as much personality and charisma as a basket of hats and the rest of the cast don’t fare much better.” I thought I could come to the defence of the film based solely on Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s wonderfully camp performance as the Cobra Commander, but it is not enough. Therefore, I will leave it up to the readers to challenge Erica (and myself, technically). If you were a fan of GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra, make your argument known in the comments section below. I’m going to go ice my wounds.

Now it’s over to you! What were your thoughts on GI Joe? Let us know in the comments section below. And if you would like to be featured in the next Head to Head, and possibly win some free movie tickets, send your mini-reviews to us here at Quickflix!

2 Responses to “Head to Head – GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra”

  1. This movie has Sienna Miller in it…that should be warning enough. I LOVE this "head to head" feature – keep them coming.

  2. I went in with zero expectation and got exactly that.That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. That Paris scene was freakin' kinetic!…But to be honest, I actually wasn't paying that much attention, just waiting for the next thing to blow up. And yet strangely enough, when the end came where EVERYTHING was blowing up, I lost interest. Hm.

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