Joss Whedon offers to buy Terminator rights for $10,000


Last month we reported that the rights to the Terminator franchise were about to be sold to the highest bidder. Well step aside Hollywood bigwigs. Joss Whedon is writing a cheque your butt can’t cash.

The Buffy creator has penned a (tongue-in-cheque) letter to “The Terminator Owners” on his blog, in which he offers to take the franchise off their hands for an impressive five-figure sum.

And he writes:

“I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands. No, you didn’t miscount. That’s four — FOUR! — zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean business. And I mean show business.”

It’s hard to argue with logic like that. Take a look at his proposed changes for the action series:

1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.

3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale’s John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Well, we can’t deny that Terminator in the hands of Whedon would improve the series’ flagging quality.

However, it is unlikely that “The Terminator Owners” would sign the rights over to Whedon for ten grand.

Nikke Finke reports that all the big studios are interested in the franchise, with Sony leading the charge. However, smaller studios like Summit Entertainment and Media Rights Capital are also interested in the Terminator package, which will include the rights to all Terminator films, spin-offs and television series.

Check out our complete write-up on the Terminator Rights Saga.

We’ll be sure to let you know who ends up with the rights. In the meantime, I’ll hand it over to Mr. Whedon to wrap up.

“I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I’d like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including “Song of Norway” (no current franchise offer). Sincerely, Joss Whedon.”

Discuss: OK, if we rally together, we could probably buy the rights for Whedon. I’m willing to chip in $10. Does anyone have a spare $40-60 million lying around?

2 Responses to “Joss Whedon offers to buy Terminator rights for $10,000”

  1. hahamaybe he is just upset because Summer Glau went from Firefly to the Sarah Connor Chronicles…

  2. I love Joss! lol 🙂

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