Simon Miraudo’s Worst Films of 2010

Simon Miraudo’s Worst Films of 2010.

As 2010 makes its inevitable march towards death (or rather, 2011), Quickflix critics Simon Miraudo, Tara Judah and Jess Lomas reflect on the year that was. Check out their individual selections for the best (and worst) films of a year that will be remembered by endless debates about spinning totems, fake street artists, faker actor-turned-rappers, and the extent to which we all wept at the end of Toy Story 3.

BUT FIRST, before we praise our fave flicks of the year, we must discuss the most disappointing features of 2010. It’s essential to recognise cinematic sludge; much like in the way the human body is truly at its best in the days following the flu or after enduring a bout of intense, gut-churning constipation, it is only after acknowledging the awfulness of other films that we can truly understand great cinema.

Simon Miraudo picks (and lazily cribs from his own reviews)...

10. The Last Airbender

“The Last Airbender is a mess at its very core. Shyamalan does not know what story he is telling, and he fails to convey it either aurally or visually.”

“To call Tooth Fairy a bad film is like calling star Dwayne Johnson a big guy. Both statements are accurate, but neither actually conveys the degree to which they are true.”

“It is as insightful and real-world applicable as The Secret, which is to say, it is no way insightful or real-world applicable. “

“I should have known better than to look forward to Clash of the Titans, a film that unironically employs the tagline ‘Titans Will Clash’.”

“This is a movie in which Dolph Lundgren is expected to convincingly portray a junkie and have an American accent. Also, Jet Li plays a character called Yin Yang. Do with this information what you will.”

“Do people love the original book so much they’re willing to forgive a film that is sorely lacking in substance, motivation, action, tension, ambiguity and style?”

“Tekken isn’t the worst film in the world, but anything other than a full-throated condemnation of it is a celebration of nostalgia-abuse; an urge to movie producers to take advantage of our innocuous fond memories and churn them, Rumpelstiltskin-style, into gold.”

“To quote Detective Roger Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon, “I’m getting too old for this ****.””

“Surely a film this terrible had to be some kind of elaborate practical joke.”

“The only thing scary about Joe Johnston’s The Wolfman is that it exists. The fact that people, nay professionals, spent several years working on this picture genuinely upsets me.”

Discuss: What did you think were the worst films of 2010?

3 Responses to “Simon Miraudo’s Worst Films of 2010”

  1. >The Wolfman is ABSOLUTELY the worst film of the year. Awful!And I'm very glad to see that you're a fellow GWTDT hater – I flat out do not understand the hype for that 2 and a half hour episode of CSI.

  2. >Worst film? – Girl With Dragon Tattoo? Hmm…a bit shocking to see this one on the list. I thought it was gripping and the next day began reading the trilogy.

  3. >Simon your comments are gold.

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