Green Lantern almost starred Jack Black; featured Elmo sex scene

Martin Campbell‘s adaptation of the DC comic hero Green Lantern arrives in US cinemas this weekend (it doesn’t land in Australia until August). Warner Bros has long tried to bring the cosmic superhero to the big screen, with a number of iterations crumbling before Ryan Reynolds scored the role of Hal Jordan, space cop. 

GQ got a hold of a 2004 screenplay by Robert Smigel (Saturday Night Live), which took a sideways look at the Green Lantern mythology, and had Jack Black attached to star. Yes, that Jack Black.

Fearing the comic community’s backlash, WB abandoned the project. Still, it’s fun to think of the film that could have been.

Here are some of the best (and by ‘best’ we mean ‘most insane’) elements from that screenplay:

“Jack Black plays Jud Plato, who is selected to be Green Lantern because of his bravery as a coyote-brain-eating reality show contestant.”

“Jud uses the [Lantern’s] ring’s power to grow his penis.”

“The general public is aware of Green Lantern, often citing lines like ‘you’re the eighth most important superhero'”.

“Sinestro distracts [Jud] with the thought of Elmo having sexual relations with Barbara Walters.”

There is so much more.

Discuss: R.I.P. Crazy Movie That Could Never Have Possibly Been Made

No comments yet... Be the first to leave a reply!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: