The 10 worst films of 2011

The 10 worst films of 2011. By Simon Miraudo.

We’ve spent the last couple of weeks celebrating all-things-cinematically-awesome from 2011, reflecting on the most impressive Aussie films, as well as the 20 finest male and female performances. Very soon, we’ll unveil the absolute cream of the crop and highlight the 10 best motion pictures of the past 12 months. But, as all discerning moviegoers know, sorting the wheat from the chaff can be an arduous task. Basically: we saw a lot of sucky movies this year too.

Yes, we enjoyed the hilariously raunchy Bridesmaids, but it was released amidst an endless supply of brutally-unfunny pics that seemed intent on killing comedy once and for all (Jack and Jill and Your Highness among the worst offenders). Acclaimed filmmakers such as Steven Spielberg, Kenneth Branagh, Martin Scorsese and even Werner Herzog decided to jump on the super-annoying 3-D bandwagon, yet despite their films’ quality, we were left squinting through the glasses just to make out what was going on (you can imagine how our stomachs lurched during the far more incompetently realised flicks Green Lantern, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 etc.). Audiences were “treated” to  more sequels, threequels, prequels, reboots, and spin-offs than in any year previous. And if none of this was evidence enough of a worrying period in film: 2011 saw Pixar release their first bad movie. Things got dark.

But there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and it won’t be long before we’ll celebrate the pictures that illuminated and enriched our lives this year. To fully appreciate them, let’s briefly wallow at the bottom of the barrel, and look at the 10 worst films of 2011. All excerpts are taken directly from the pictures’ corresponding reviews, because, well, I couldn’t bring myself to write about them again.

Dishonourable mentions: Anonymous, Babies, Cars 2, Faster, Fast and Furious Five, I Am Number Four, Insidious, Jack and Jill, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 and Your Highness.

10. Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

“NB: the very first shot after the movie’s title appears on the screen is of Huntington-Whiteley’s posterior. Come on Michael; at least pretend you hired her for her acting talent.” Read full review.

9. Green Lantern

“Thank goodness emerald green is such a pleasant colour to look at. Had our hero been called the Sinopia Sunlight or the Rusty Blowtorch, then we would have been forced to endure this terrible screenplay (full of painfully literal dialogue and endless exposition), some wildly misjudged acting choices and been awash in a distressing visual palette.” Read full review.

8. Abduction

“All those abs and biceps and glutes and what-have-yous make [Taylor Lautner] look a little unnatural; like that Little Hercules kid that used to always be on Ripley’s Believe it or Not.” Read full review.

7. The Cup

“Director Simon Wincer is unable to convey this tale in a manner that would elevate it beyond the experience of reading the condensed, chronological series of events on Wikipedia.” Read full review.

6. Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy

“In short: it’s a little rapey.” Read full review.

5. In Time

In Time is the cinematic equivalent of the stoned dude at the party who comes up with one barely interesting ‘what if’ scenario, then proceeds to nudge us repeatedly until we express to them the extent to which they have blown our mind.” Read full review.

4. Norwegian Wood

” More like Snorewegian Wood, am I right? *High fives nobody*.” Read full review.

3. Battle Los Angeles

“Michael Bay and Tony Scott made love to the American flag, birthed a demon spawn and called it Battle Los Angeles.” Read full review.

2. The Iron Lady

“It does a disservice to almost everyone. Even Thatcher.” Read full review

1. Red Riding Hood

“‘So, what developments in the field of Cinematic Badness does director Catherine Hardwicke pioneer in her new film?’ you ask. A scene of faux-lesbian, renaissance fair, bonfire grinding, anyone? How about two vacant-eyed male leads that will leave you pleading for the presence of charismatic-by-comparison thespians Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner? Or even a Simple Jack-style village idiot plonked into the middle of proceedings, left to mug his way into and out of every scene, just for the hell of it? Yep, Red Riding Hood went there. Red Riding Hood went there, bought a souvenir lute from the folk festival gift shop, and came all the way back.” Read full review.

Discuss: OK, what did we miss?

20 Responses to “The 10 worst films of 2011”

  1. Wow, is the iron lady really that bad?

  2. black swan! was it released last year? I can’t remember – I’m still snoring in the cinema.
    But wait Tomorrow When The war Began – to prove we can make movies as bad as the worst American ones

    • TWTWB was probably okay – if you haven’t read the book. If you have, well, the characters are the same, but it seemed as if the script was written by someone who heard the story sixth-hand, then ignored large slabs of what actually took place in the book, while presenting it out of order, sprinkled with stuff that did not take place.

    • Black Swan was truly one of the best movies.

  3. There was one I watched that was so bloody awful i forge the name. it was after an atomic war and had like this guy trying to find his wife. the story line was mangled. it was poorly written, bad acting and seemed to be someones sexual fantasys gone wrong

  4. Wasn’t there at least one Twilight movie released in 2011?

    Anyway thanks Simon for finally working out that you start at 10 and go to 1. It was always annoying to scroll to the bottom of your post and scroll up. [/nitpik]

  5. I haven’t seen Abduction yet, except which I would have to say that Norwegian Wood is definitely one of Top 10 Best films of 2011 in my list. The Cup and The Iron Lady are also those brilliant ones with high spirit of cinema. So another proof: people’s taste differs!

  6. Yes of course they differ. That is why we describe taste as either good or bad 🙂

  7. Reblogged this on Vasile Roata.

  8. Green Lantern was easily my worst movie. Blake Lively isn’t getting roles based on her acting ability. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so embarrassed for the onscreen actors. At what point during filming and post production did the bosses think this was a really really good idea “yeah this will relaunch the GL franchise and we’ll make $$$ out of it just like Spiderman and Batman!”? Um, not.

  9. REALLY, WHAT DID YOU SEE ANY OF THESE MOVIES. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A BAD MOVIE IS. HOW ABOUT WRONG TURN 4 AS ONE SMALL EXAMPLE. NOW I WILL SAY I HAVE NOT SEEN ALL THESE MOVIES. THE ONES I HAVE SEEN, NOT ONE COULD BE CLASSED AS A BAD MOVIE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD WATCH A HELL OF A LOT MORE MOVIES AND DO A REAL TOP 10 BAD MOVIES OF 2011.
    JUST MY THOUGHTS

  10. Ummm Due Date, I don’t know how she does it and New Year’s Eve were all truly gut-wrenching. The Iron Lady should not be on this list.

  11. Well, there’s ten bullets I managed to dodge! lol

  12. Well I have seen some of these flicks and I did enjoy faster, fast five, i am no. 4 and green lantern. Cars 2 was a little long winded for an animated kids flick but it was o.k. though.

  13. Thanks for your comments everyone! Keep them coming – end-of-year debates are among the highlights of the, well, year. Although I encourage disagreement and varied opinions, I’ve had to delete a few antagonising posts. As everyone on the internet should know by now, offensive, coarse language and hate speech will be deleted. Keep it civil, and we can all share our likes and dislikes like adults 🙂

  14. The adjudicators need to be re-educated as to what the public want, not what they are paid to praise bad movies.

    Some of the best movies of the year are: Green Lantern; Your Highness; and Pirates of the Caribbean – On Stranger Tides.

    I agree that “The Cup” is bad because I am not a gambler and would not appreciated the intricacies of horses and winning.

    Some of the best 10 movies of the year are not excellent or good. The adjudicators need feedbacks from the public with structured trait questions, rating from 0 to 10 as to how good each movie is. For example, an ugly man cannot play the part of a handsome man desirable by many women or a plain woman plays the part of a beautiful woman. Physical attraction is the dominant trait of a star. No matter how talented and perfect acting a main character of a movie projects, the public could not give a high rating. For example, Marilyn Monroe was certainly not a good actress but her beauty compensates everything.

    There are now many beautiful women on screen but the one coupled with talent and acting surfaced to be a star.

    The three chosen worst movies of the year (Your Highness, Green Lantern and Pirates of the Carabbean – On Stranger Tide) are, in fact, the 10 best movies of the year.

    Some of the best 10 movies of the year are not the best or may even be the the worst movies of the year.

  15. I know In Time was a bit Bonnie & Clyde meets Blade Runner .I still thought it it had a few surprises.I don’t really think it belongs on this list. I think Simon is just stirring the pot.

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  1. Simon Miraudo’s ten worst films of 2011 - December 15, 2011

    […] Quickflix’s Simon Miraudo on the worst films of the year: 6. Sex and Zen: Extreme Esctasy […]

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