The top 10 foul-mouthed friends

The top 10 foul-mouthed friends. By Simon Miraudo

We’ve all got one. Sometimes they can be your hero, but often they’re an unending personal embarrassment. They say the things we think but could never articulate for fear of offense. Mostly though, they say the things no one ever should. In the case of Ted, that role belongs to Mark Wahlberg‘s walking, talking, toking teddy bear. To celebrate Ted’s cinema release, we’re sharing our picks for the top 10 foul-mouthed friends. They’ll be there for you… maybe.

10. Vincent in Twins

There was once a time when the concept of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito being twin brothers was ridiculous, but now the only aspect of it that stretches credulity is that Arnold plays the moral, sexually-naive one. DeVito’s dodgy Vincent is charged with bringing his sheltered brother into the real world. Go back Vincent; you went too far!

9. Samantha in Sex and the City

Kim Cattrall‘s iconic man-(and occasionally woman)-eater earns a place on this list for the TV show more so than the diabolical movies. As Samantha Jones, she never fails to shock Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte with stories of her outrageous exploits (often with a well-placed pun).

8. Trent in Swingers

Vince Vaughn‘s well-coiffed Trent has no shortage of advice for Mike (Jon Favreau), a lovelorn comedian recovering from a nasty break-up. He may not have the foulest mouth of their group of L.A. swingers, but the motor-mouthed gent certainly gets more cusses out per second.

7. Seth in Superbad

Writers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg based the characters played by Jonah Hill and Michael Cera on themselves. Needless to say, Seth is the more abrasive of the duo, much to the humiliation of the awkward Evan. His corrosive personality is eventually softened by the picture’s end, going so far as to pledge his eternal love to his superbuddy. Aw.

6. Jay in Clerks

As anyone who has ever heard Kevin Smith speak in real life knows, Silent Bob can be just as filthy as his hetero life mate Jay (Jason Mewes). In the View Askewniverse, Jay does the talking for the both of them. And boy does he!

5. Jack in Sideways

Miles’ (Paul Giamatti) plan to throw his buddy Jack (Thomas Haden Church) a classy bucks’ week is thrown off course by Jack’s ceaseless desire to screw his way across the Napa Valley. We tried to find a suitable quote to help capture his character, but, ahem, they weren’t fit for print here. Funny though.

4. Reggie in 48 Hrs.

Nick Nolte is a grizzled cop. Eddie Murphy is a smart-alec ex-con. Either one could probably classify as the other’s curse-happy compadre; we’re giving the edge to Murphy for the scene where he confronts the rednecks.

3. Dignam in The Departed

Yes, Marky Mark was once the foul-mouthed friend himself! In The Departed, he scored an Oscar nomination for playing the incredibly confrontational associate of Martin Sheen‘s fatherly Captain, harassing pretty much anyone in his peripheral vision. Enjoy this (very sweary) montage!

2. Hit Girl in Kick Ass

Chloe Moretz stole the show as the 11-year-old vigilante whose predilection for salty language is only outmatched by her bloodlust. Her daddy is so proud.

1. Walter in The Big Lebowski

The Dude’s (Jeff Bridges) sidekick Walter (John Goodman) is a gun-toting Vietnam vet who loves to bowl, is devoted to Judaism, and has surprisingly easy access to rogue toes. We love him most for his poetic potty-mouth, spawning such brilliant lines as, “This is what happens when you **** a stranger in the ***!” Or, as it’s famously dubbed in the PG-rated TV edit: “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps!”

Discuss: OK, who did we miss?