The top 10 director burns

The top 10 director burns. By Simon Miraudo.

There’s nothing like a good old fashioned filmmaker feud! The ever-opinionated David Cronenberg, hot on the Cosmopolis publicity trail, recently told NextMovie he had no interest in ever making a superhero movie. Then he began criticising Christopher Nolan‘s Batman flicks (“they’re mostly boring), and anyone who branded them as “supreme cinema art” (“I don’t think they know what the f*** they’re talking about.”). Thems fighting words! In honour of his devastating slam, we’re sharing our picks for the top ten director burns. Creative types sure do get emotional…

10. Werner Herzog burns Abel Ferrara

Abel Ferrara was none too happy when it was revealed Werner Herzog would be remaking/sequelising his notorious Bad Lieutenant. Here’s how the wonderful Herzog responded to his complaints: “I have no idea who Abel Ferrara is. But let him fight the windmills… I’ve never seen a film by him. I have no idea who he is. Is he Italian? Is he French? Who is he?” Admit it: you’re all doing your best Werner impression in your head while reading that statement.

9. Kevin Smith burns Paul Thomas Anderson

The refreshingly frank Kevin Smith has had his fair share of inter-industry spray wars, most famously with Tim Burton and Bruce Willis. But we thought we’d share here instead his thoughts on Paul Thomas Anderson‘s three-hour epic Magnolia: “I’ll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I’ll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work.” OK, that’s not cool, Kev.

8. David Gordon Green burns Kevin Smith

If he’s going to dish it out, he’ll have to learn to take it too. Former indie auteur David Gordon Green had this to say of Smith in 2001: “He kind of created a Special Olympics for film. They just kind of lowered the standard. I’m sure their parents are proud; it’s just nothing I care to buy a ticket for.” Green recently directed Your Highness and The Sitter. Says it all, really.

7. David Cronenberg burns M. Night Shyamalan

Christopher Nolan should be relieved. Cronenberg spared him the vicious personal attack that he bestowed on M. Night back when he was asked if the Sixth Sense director was an influence: “I HATE that guy! Next question.”

6. Francois Truffaut and Ingmar Bergman burn Michelangelo Antonioni

Frenchman Francois Truffaut and Swede Ingmar Bergman both had unkind things to say of Italy’s Michelangelo Antonioni. Will there ever be peace in Europe?! Francois: “He bores me; he’s so solemn and humourless.” Ingmar: “Antonioni… expired, suffocated by his own tediousness.”

5. Nick Broomfield burns Quentin Tarantino

Famed blowhard and documentarian Nick Broomfield is repulsed by the work of Quentin Tarantino, and expressed as much in as bizarrely detailed a manner as possible: “It’s like watching a schoolboy’s fantasy of violence and sex, which normally Quentin Tarantino would be wanking alone to in his bedroom while this mother is making his baked beans downstairs. Only this time he’s got Harvey Weinstein behind him and it’s on at a million screens.”

4. Jean-Luc Godard burns Steven Spielberg

“I don’t know him personally. I don’t think his films are very good.” Sounds like Jean-Luc was a little jealous that his frenemy Truffaut got to star in Spielberg‘s Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

3. Vincent Gallo burns Martin Scorsese

“I wouldn’t work for Martin Scorsese for $10 million. He hasn’t made a good film in 25 years. I would never work with an egomaniac has-been,” said the man who gave us The Brown Bunny.

2. Uwe Boll burns Michael Bay and Eli Roth

“World’s worst director” Uwe Boll has a habit of getting defensive when mocked (remember when he met his critics in a boxing ring?). Here’s one way to win an argument: “I’m not a f****** r***** like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same sh**** movies over and over again.”

1. Spike Lee burns Hollywood

There are almost too many examples of the brutally honest Spike Lee spitting venom at his contemporaries, so we’ll just feature a few (most of them compiled on Flavorwire): On Quentin Tarantino: “I have a definite problem with Quentin Tarantino’s excessive use of the n-word. And let the record show that I never said that he can not use that word – I’ve used that word in many of my films – but I think something is wrong with him…. I mean the guy’s just stupid.” On Tyler Perry: “[His film] harkens back to ‘Amos n’ Andy’.” On Eddie Murphy: “I kind of scratch my head why Eddie Murphy’s doing this, because it shows no love for black people.” On Clint Eastwood: “A guy like him should shut his face.” Don’t ever change, Spike.

Discuss: Phew. OK, got any other examples?

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