By Simon Miraudo March 28, 2013 Of the three handsome, indistinguishable bachelors in The Host, two viciously strike our heroine, while the other settles on strangulation. That she is merely an alien inhabiting a human body doesn’t make the acts – or their frequency – any less jarring to a reasonable viewer. Several “make-out” sequences […]
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Tag Archives: the twilight saga
Slow death – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 review
November 16, 2012 
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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 – Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner. Directed by Bill Condon. Rated M. By Simon Miraudo. And stay dead! If any event necessitated a Return of the Jedi style Ewok orgy, it’s the staking of the abysmal Twilight Saga. Director Bill Condon wraps up the final […]
Continue readingCan’t be killed – Underworld: Awakening review
January 30, 2012 0 Comments
Underworld: Awakening– Starring Kate Beckinsale, Stephen Rea and Theo Davis. Directed by Måns Mårlind and Björn Stein. Rated MA. By Simon Miraudo. A lot has changed since Underworld hit cinemas in 2003. Though it was a surprise box office hit, that tale of warring vampire and lycan clans would eventually be overshadowed, quite spectacularly, by […]
Continue readingWarning: Breaking Dawn causes seizures
November 28, 2011 3 Comments
In addition to acting as a terrific incentive not to sleep with vampires, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 now comes with another warning concerning these blood suckers: this film may cause seizures. According to ABC News in the US, there have been several reports of people claiming to have developed seizures during (spoiler […]
Continue readingBreaking Dawn Part 1 rated MA in Australia (Update: Not anymore…)
November 14, 2011 3 Comments
UPDATE: The Classification Board has overturned the rating. Hoyts Distribution has revealed The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is now merely rated M. Original story as follows. Breaking Dawn Part One – the penultimate instalment of The Twilight Saga – has scored a series-first MA 15+ rating in Australia for ‘Strong themes’. This MA rating means people under […]
Continue readingLiam Hemsworth could invade The Host
November 3, 2011 0 Comments
Liam Hemsworth tops the list of actors being considered for the Andrew Niccol-directed adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s The Host, Variety reports. With Meyer’s Twlight Saga coming to an end and Niccol’s latest film In Time now in cinemas, attention has been turned to their upcoming project: adapting Meyer’s mammoth sci-fi novel to the big screen. […]
Continue readingTaylor Lautner teams with Gus Van Sant on indie project
November 3, 2011 0 Comments
Known for his Hollywood blockbusters, Taylor Lautner is apparently ready to move into independent films. According to THR, he is in the midst of striking a deal with director Gus Van Sant. Last seen in the dismal Abduction, and hitting our screens next in the penultimate instalment of The Twilight Saga, Lautner has shocked many […]
Continue readingSee Edward and Bella on their honeymoon in new Breaking Dawn pics
August 12, 2011 0 Comments
Because we know you can’t get enough… Entertainment Weekly has released a couple new snaps of Edward and Bella on their honeymoon in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One. Sadly, these are not the Honeymoon images we really want to see. You know what we’re talking about. We look forward to seeing all the […]
Continue readingGus Van Sant talks about his failed Breaking Dawn audition
May 19, 2011 1 Comment
Remember last year when it was reported that Summit Entertainment were looking at hiring some esteemed, Oscar nominated directors to helm the fourth and fifth instalments of their Twilight series? Yeah, it was a weird time. Even though Dreamgirls director Bill Condon was placed in charge of Breaking Dawn Part 1 and 2, it was claimed […]
Continue readingSaoirse Ronan to star in Twilight author’s The Host
May 4, 2011 3 Comments
Saoirse Ronan (Atonement, Hanna) has scored the lead role in the upcoming adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s follow up to the Twilight saga, The Host. According to Deadline, Ronan is attached to a package that also includes a script by Andrew Niccol (Gattaca, The Truman Show). Deadline also suggests Niccol might direct. The film’s executive producers, […]
Continue readingThe Last Airbender, Sex and the City 2 big "winners" at Razzie awards
February 27, 2011 2 Comments
As Tinsel Town gathers today to pat themselves on the back for a job well done – as though million dollar pay cheques aren’t reward enough – the annual Razzie Awards have brought a few Hollywood stars down a peg or two by naming and shaming the worst of the year. Earning the title of […]
Continue readingAn unholy alliance of financially prosperous proportions
February 18, 2011 1 Comment
It’s hard to believe that in 2011, Hollywood are still allowing director/producer Michael Bay to get involved in the making of films. And yet, here we are. According to Deadline, Michael Bay has just joined forces with Taylor Lautner (yep, the werewolf dude from the Twilight movies) on a new unnamed project. The scoop is […]
Continue readingFirst look at Edward and Bella in Breaking Dawn
January 17, 2011 3 Comments
It’s the moment Bella – and about a billion heavy-breathing Twihards – have been waiting for, and it’s been captured in all (well, not all) of its glory in this first promotional photo from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One: the wedding night. Yep, in the first half of the final instalment of the […]
Continue readingSimon Miraudo’s Worst Films of 2010
December 29, 2010 3 Comments
Simon Miraudo’s Worst Films of 2010. As 2010 makes its inevitable march towards death (or rather, 2011), Quickflix critics Simon Miraudo, Tara Judah and Jess Lomas reflect on the year that was. Check out their individual selections for the best (and worst) films of a year that will be remembered by endless debates about spinning […]
Continue reading>Filling the Harry Potter/Twilight hole in your heart.
December 8, 2010 1 Comment
> Filling the Harry Potter/Twilight hole in your heart. By Jess Lomas. Have you found yourself wondering lately; “Gee, what AM I going to watch once the Harry Potter and Twilight franchises end?” No? Well, just pretend you were. There’s been a boom in Young Adult fiction over the last 6 years, which in turn […]
Continue readingAnti climax – The Twilight Saga: Eclipse review
November 29, 2010 0 Comments
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Directed by David Slade. Rated M. Originally published July 5, 2010. By Simon Miraudo. To quote Detective Roger Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon, “I’m getting too old for this ****.” In just eighteen months, the Twilight saga has subjected us to one atrocious […]
Continue readingBreaking Dawn finds its Renesmee
September 29, 2010 0 Comments
It looks as if the biggest and most important role in The Twilight Saga’s Breaking Dawn has been cast. Mackenzie Foy is set to star as Renesmee Cullen, the ridiculously named child of Edward and Bella in the final instalment of the epic vampire saga. According to EW, the nine-year-old actress is close to signing […]
Continue readingBreaking Dawn Part Two release to coincide with apocalypse
August 4, 2010 0 Comments
It’s long been known that the final book in Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn – would be broken into two separate films. Summit Entertainment have announced that Part One will hit cinemas November 18, 2011, while Part Two will arrive November 16, 2012. Is it a coincidence that Breaking Dawn, the final instalment […]
Continue readingAustralian box office – Total eclipse
July 8, 2010 0 Comments
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opened across Australia, and fans proved they were in no way tired of Bella’s romantic exploits by heading to cinemas in force. Here are the box office results for the period July 1 -4. 1. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse [536 screens/ $24,236]WKND = $12,990,707 / TOTAL = $13,006,4122. Toy Story 3 […]
Continue readingWorld’s worst filmmakers return with Twilight spoof
July 8, 2010 2 Comments
I’ve made no secret on this blog my disdain for the Twilight franchise. However, consider me an avowed fan now that I’ve seen the abominable-by-comparison trailer for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer‘s Vampires Suck. Yes, my enemy’s enemy is my friend, and Friedberg and Seltzer sit firmly in the ‘enemy’ camp. Without question the two […]
Continue readingAnti climax – The Twilight Saga: Eclipse review
July 5, 2010 7 Comments
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Directed by David Slade. Rated M. By Simon Miraudo. To quote Detective Roger Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon, “I’m getting too old for this ****.” In just eighteen months, the Twilight saga has subjected us to one atrocious film, one (barely) passable film, […]
Continue readingBreaking Dawn OFFICIALLY broken into two films
June 14, 2010 1 Comment
We’ve pretty much known since February, but Summit Entertainment have officially announced that the final book in Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, Breaking Dawn, will be broken into two separate movies. Apparently the delayed announcement is the result of contract negotiations of director Bill Condon and stars Kristen Stewart, Sparkly, and Shirtless. The Twilight Saga, which […]
Continue readingTwilight dominates MTV Movie Awards, obviously
June 8, 2010 0 Comments
The Twilight Saga’s New Moon dominated the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, an awards show almost exclusively voted for by teenage girls and taken seriously by no one. The ceremony was hosted by genius comedian Aziz Ansari, and featured exclusive sneak peeks at Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. The […]
Continue readingThe Twilight Saga’s Breaking Dawn has a release date
May 5, 2010 0 Comments
The Twilight Saga’s Breaking Dawn, to be directed by Oscar winner Bill Condon, will hit cinemas November 18, 2011. Kristen Stewart, Mr. Sparkle, and the shirtless one will all return for the final film of the saga. Summit Entertainment are yet to announce whether or not the adaptation of the final book in Stephanie Meyer’s […]
Continue readingBill Condon to direct Breaking Dawn
April 29, 2010 0 Comments
Summit Entertainment have confirmed that director Bill Condon (Dreamgirls, Gods and Monsters) will helm the final installment of The Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn. It was reported back in March that Summit were courting Oscar-caliber directors for Breaking Dawn, including Condon, Sophia Coppola and Gus Van Sant . Condon won the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar […]
Continue readingThe Twilight Saga’s Eclipse – new trailer, now with conflict!
April 27, 2010 3 Comments
A brand new trailer for The Twilight Saga’s Eclipse has debuted online, giving us a greater glimpse of the film’s plot. It marks a milestone in the series, as it seems to be the first film of the saga to actually feature “a plot”. As far as I can piece it together, Bella (Kristen Stewart) […]
Continue readingKristen Stewart to star in Wanted 2?
April 22, 2010 0 Comments
Kristen Stewart is reportedly being courted by director Timur Bekmambetov to star as the female lead in his sequel to the 2008 box office hit Wanted. The news comes from E!Online, whose sources claim that Stewart has met with Bekmambetov at least once. Stewart would likely star alongside James McAvoy as “a young, ass-kicking assassin”, […]
Continue readingHas punch, lacks bite – The Twilight Saga’s New Moon review
April 13, 2010 7 Comments
The Twilight Saga’s New Moon – Starring Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson. Directed by Chris Weitz. Rated M. Originally published November 23, 2009. By Simon Miraudo. The Twilight Saga’s New Moon is not terrible, despite featuring some excruciatingly lazy storytelling, atrocious performances, listless direction and a core storyline that is both uninteresting and […]
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